Oxymoron Alert: Workplace

Ever felt like your company's claim to empower workers, encourage creative thinking and develop new ideas was more promise than practice?  Then you understand the meaning of

Artificial Autonomy

Oxymoron Alert: Spiritual Variety

While I plan to protect my source, this is worth sharing:

Minimally Orthodox

Hard to follow that with any commentary. If you think this is funny, the context was even better!

Oxymoron Alert: Food Variety

Heard a home cook's interview describing a delicious recipe for "12 ounce Pound Cake".
Do the math, people.
A pound is 16 ounces, so this is actually a 75% Cake.
No wonder children have such difficulty with fractions and conversions when adults speak in oxymorons.

Oxymoron Alert: Inopportune Bogey

Sports announcers have time to fill and no script. A golf analyst commiserated, "that was an inopportune bogey".  By definition, a "bogey" is taking one more shot than par or in lay terms, "one too many". When is missing the mark opportune? Would you say "inopportune auto accident", implying there is a good time for an accident?

Before I get a call from St Andrews defending this golf-speak, it goes to show how quickly phrases can be misunderstood by those who are not "in the club". I still contend that the golfer in question, who ended up losing the tournament, saw nothing "opportune" about his bogey.