Zombies: writers gone wild

Fall brings out the zombie writers wacky tales of the inconsiderate undead. Dedicated zombie writers vehemently argue whether or not zombies eat, drink and make merry (the latter isn't likely considering their gruesome demeanor). I confess to baiting the argument to enjoy the mindless debate (which of course makes sense for zombies).

Character analysis is important for any genre. The personality and actions of a character must either be consistent or the story may spin on the inconsistency. Nonetheless, a writer must intimately know these characters to create believable presentations.

At this season, I cannot resist posing these questions to zombie writers:

• Do zombies have IQ preferences or is it any old brain in a storm?
• Why can't zombies stay out of the middle of the street? Traffic at rush hour is bad enough.
• Do zombies have thumbs or are these snack food between brains?
• Where do zombies rank in the monster pecking order?
• Why can't zombies be gracious enough to stay dead and leave us to the common terrors of taxes, pollution, war and pestilence?

Zombie writers actually have answer for these questions, however, be prepared for a battle of opinions. Perhaps that's the way to get rid of zombies, ask them odd questions about brains like what is the pi of brain?

 P.S. I am a huge fan of the Scott Kennemore's Zen of Zombie: Better Living Thru the Undead. He makes fun of zombies with style, which will clearly make him a marked man when the invasion occurs.